Club Quiz
Your Result
Five more questions, then the verdict.
Issue #1 · Published Oct 19, 2026
6 Your ideal frame color:
- a Silver, gunmetal, or "is that even a color?"
- b Burgundy, cobalt, tortoise on steroids.
- c Classic tortoise or black. Done.
- d Mirrored, iridescent, or clear with neon hidden inside.
7 Pick a weekend:
- a Gallery. White walls. Espresso.
- b Flea market. You will find THE thing.
- c Dinner party. You bring the good wine.
- d Tech demo day. You're first in line.
8 Your glasses should make you look…
- a Like you're not trying. (You are. It's working.)
- b Like the most interesting person in the room.
- c Like yourself, on your best day.
- d Like you arrived from 2035.
9 Budget for the perfect pair?
- a Whatever the perfect minimal frame costs. Once.
- b More than I should. Worth it.
- c A fair price for something that lasts a decade.
- d Early-adopter pricing. I know what I signed up for.
10 Be honest — how many pairs do you own?
- a One. Maybe two. The other is "backup."
- b Don't ask. (It's a collection.)
- c Three. Each with a job.
- d Two, but one of them isn't on the market yet.
Count your letters across all ten questions. The letter you picked most often is your result. Most a's → THE MINIMALIST. Most b's → THE MAXIMALIST. Most c's → THE CLASSICIST. Most d's → THE FUTURIST. Tie? You're complicated — own both, and read the fit notes twice.
The Minimalist
Less, but better. You want frames that disappear until the moment they don't — titanium wire, rimless fronts, hairline temples, zero logos. Your style is the edit, not the addition. Try: ultralight titanium in gunmetal or matte silver, rimless or semi-rimless fronts, and nothing wider than your cheekbones. One perfect pair beats five almosts — you already know this.
The Maximalist
More is more, and you make it look easy. Sculptural acetate, real color, temples with opinions — for you the frame IS the outfit, and subtlety is a scheduling conflict. Try: chunky burgundy or cobalt acetate, oversized squares and sculpted cat-eyes, and a second pair in a clashing color for off days. If no one mentions your glasses by lunch, you picked the wrong pair.
The Classicist
Tortoise, round, panto, keyhole bridge. You've been right since 1955 and you're not stopping now. You buy once, buy well, and your frames age like the leather goods you also own for decades. Try: hand-finished tortoise acetate, classic black in a perfect panto, and five-barrel hinges you can feel. Skip the trend cycle entirely — it comes back to you every eight years anyway.
The Futurist
Shield, octagon, wrap, unreleased. You read spec sheets for fun and your glasses charge overnight. You don't wait for the future to arrive — you wear it early and let everyone else catch up. Try: shield and octagonal fronts, clear acetate with neon cores, and the newest smart frames — just bring the same skepticism to battery claims that you bring to everything else.
Corrected Oct 19, 2026 — see Standards & Corrections.